I'd just selected a jumbo map of the world, and he was escorting the two conical flasks in which I would see peppermint plants grow over the coming days and wee...
My friend Jerry Bunson told me that the American History Museum is nothing more than a glorified antique store—made up of household items and old-fashioned prod...
You stumble on the ad in-between case files; a day’s work consisting of ten to twenty breaks for casual internet browsing depending on the weather. If it’s nice...
I watch reruns of “The Bionic Woman” while Mack attends class, slip into lectures about Venn diagrams, Beyoncé, and monetary policy when I get tired of her supe...
In the early 1800s, a boy named Leo is selected to be the next Pope after he writes an obscene sentence on a classroom chalkboard in a dusty English board...
Abstract ideas are not easily recognized by voice recognition capabilities. May not be recognized Exline no I mean really next line. Next line next line process...
She has a pack of raspberry pop tarts and apple juice box for breakfast.
Last night was a bitch. (One client, no tip.) Even worse, she’s on a double shift. H...
As she walked home from dropping the kids off at school, she imagined checking her email to find something. What would it say? Accepted? Good news? Your submiss...
Moises hadn’t seen another dinosaur in years. He remembered that allosaurs bully from middle school. There was the stegosaurus at that NOFX show back in ‘96. Th...
His eyes locked on the wings of two flies on top of each other outside the class window. Their shaky dance is more intriguing than the text being read. A visibl...
Wallow on, dudes!
So you’re depressed. Your life is a failure. Every dream and aspiration you’ve ever had is gone and out of reach. Even your back-up...
“Be back in a sec,” Cathy says. She carries a black, knee-length sheath dress, priced at $14.99, into the dressing room. There is no attendant, but at TJ Maxx, ...
ARIES (March 21st- April 20th)
This week, you will encounter a beautiful forest upon the valley and find an ancient shrine in a cave. Mesmerized, you will ca...
Since I last saw him, Cellar revived a collapsed IHOP customer using CPR, pulled a crispy Chihuahua from a raging apartment complex inferno, discovered the stin...
I sold everything I felt like I wouldn't want to pass along to my kids, whenever, if-ever, I had them. Which meant I sold everything, basically. My kids would d...
They circled around him. The children, in their apricot tans and indigo violet jeans, pointing at where his glasses were bent askew. A boy, Mark, dug his nails ...
It’s of a bald eagle looking off to the side in a smoldering, sort of brooding kind of way, like Richard Gere in American Gigolo. No. No, I wouldn’t g...
Under the backyard lamps, amid the hum of summer insects in the near-northern suburbs of Jaffa, Ariel drew his guitar from its case.
Zamir chuckled, speaking w...
Dylan and Olivia have bad news for each other.
“You go first,” Dylan says. He is still deciding what to say, how to explain.
Olivia mumbles her news into ...
The technician approaches the jaw of the subject. She slides her fingers from the teeth to the throat and slowly pries the joint open. Pale complexions illumina...
“Mac was top five dog, don’t give me that shit.” Jay Mr.Fantastic’s his arm to the back seat, passing the blunt. It’s a swisher sweet cause he’s too lazy to lea...
Step 1
Start with the memory of dad. When you or we or however you imagine it to be, used to ‘accidentally’ spill sunflower seeds in the back corner that bor...
I found myself lying awake around three or four on one December morning. I checked my phone to see if you had texted me anything. But you were asleep because st...
For many years, I longed to be an enormous insect. One day, I learned there was a plastic surgeon in Mississauga, Ontario famous for full-body reconstructive wo...
When Tara imagined what it must be like to be a man, she imagined it to be like standing on top of a building above everyone. She imagined all the girls/women s...
We watched from the bleachers as the Christian strongman sliced an apple in half using a single strand of mint-waxed dental floss. The two juicy halves crashed ...