Class Notes

Christopher LockeAugust 26, 2019

  **Class notes are posted in the order they are received, with the newest posts on top.**     Peter McNally accepted a Junior Partner position...

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We met in Ikea.

Joe WhitwellAugust 26, 2019

I'd just selected a jumbo map of the world, and he was escorting the two conical flasks in which I would see peppermint plants grow over the coming days and wee...

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Sexy George Washington

Joey HedgerAugust 26, 2019

My friend Jerry Bunson told me that the American History Museum is nothing more than a glorified antique store—made up of household items and old-fashioned prod...

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Band Ad

Christopher S. BellAugust 16, 2019

You stumble on the ad in-between case files; a day’s work consisting of ten to twenty breaks for casual internet browsing depending on the weather. If it’s nice...

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Circles

Jennifer TodhunterAugust 8, 2019

I watch reruns of “The Bionic Woman” while Mack attends class, slip into lectures about Venn diagrams, Beyoncé, and monetary policy when I get tired of her supe...

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Sight Check

Blake WallinJuly 5, 2019

In the early 1800s, a boy named Leo is selected to be the next Pope after he writes an obscene sentence on a classroom chalkboard in a dusty English board...

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Transcript of a thought process.

Andrew ReichardJune 6, 2019

Abstract ideas are not easily recognized by voice recognition capabilities. May not be recognized Exline no I mean really next line. Next line next line process...

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I Am Not a 7-Eleven

C E HoffmanJune 4, 2019

She has a pack of raspberry pop tarts and apple juice box for breakfast. Last night was a bitch. (One client, no tip.) Even worse, she’s on a double shift. H...

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Phone Chats Nos. 1-8

Guillermo StitchJune 4, 2019

1 —Don't do that. —What? —Stare at me. Don't. —I'm not. —You are. You do. Please don’t. —I don't think I stare. —I’m not the only one who’s...

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On Writing

Erica Jenks HenryMay 28, 2019

As she walked home from dropping the kids off at school, she imagined checking her email to find something. What would it say? Accepted? Good news? Your submiss...

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The Last Dinosaurs of Portland

James R. GapinskiMay 28, 2019

Moises hadn’t seen another dinosaur in years. He remembered that allosaurs bully from middle school. There was the stegosaurus at that NOFX show back in ‘96. Th...

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The Cure!

Nazli KarabiyikogluMay 17, 2019

His eyes locked on the wings of two flies on top of each other outside the class window. Their shaky dance is more intriguing than the text being read. A visibl...

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A Quick Primer on Wallowing in Despair

Steve GergleyApril 4, 2019

Wallow on, dudes!   So you’re depressed. Your life is a failure. Every dream and aspiration you’ve ever had is gone and out of reach. Even your back-up...

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Maxxinistas

Tara LemmaMarch 27, 2019

“Be back in a sec,” Cathy says. She carries a black, knee-length sheath dress, priced at $14.99, into the dressing room. There is no attendant, but at TJ Maxx, ...

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Your Weekly Horoscope

Beatriz SeelaenderMarch 26, 2019

ARIES (March 21st- April 20th) This week, you will encounter a beautiful forest upon the valley and find an ancient shrine in a cave. Mesmerized, you will ca...

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Lobster, Lobster

Harris LahtiMarch 26, 2019

Since I last saw him, Cellar revived a collapsed IHOP customer using CPR, pulled a crispy Chihuahua from a raging apartment complex inferno, discovered the stin...

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MY FAVORITE PERSON’S LEAST FAVORITE SHOW

Joshua DaltonMarch 22, 2019

PROLOGUE “I’m Always Trying to Fill My God-shaped Asshole”   ME:   I feel so lucky to have met you. FP:    … ME:   Grindr usually sucks, but thi...

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$$$

Zac SmithMarch 15, 2019

I sold everything I felt like I wouldn't want to pass along to my kids, whenever, if-ever, I had them. Which meant I sold everything, basically. My kids would d...

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Unchanged Melodies

Kristine BrownMarch 13, 2019

They circled around him. The children, in their apricot tans and indigo violet jeans, pointing at where his glasses were bent askew. A boy, Mark, dug his nails ...

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Hey Jerry, You Gotta See This Thing

Joel KassackFebruary 11, 2019

  It’s of a bald eagle looking off to the side in a smoldering, sort of brooding kind of way, like Richard Gere in American Gigolo. No. No, I wouldn’t g...

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A SONG YOU CAN DIE TO

Daniel de LeónFebruary 8, 2019

Under the backyard lamps, amid the hum of summer insects in the near-northern suburbs of Jaffa, Ariel drew his guitar from its case. Zamir chuckled, speaking w...

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On the Edge of the Woods

Kyra KondisFebruary 6, 2019

Dylan and Olivia have bad news for each other. “You go first,” Dylan says. He is still deciding what to say, how to explain. Olivia mumbles her news into ...

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Artifacts of Holy Amalgamation

Mike CorraoFebruary 5, 2019

The technician approaches the jaw of the subject. She slides her fingers from the teeth to the throat and slowly pries the joint open. Pale complexions illumina...

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Small World

Carlo MartinezFebruary 5, 2019

“Mac was top five dog, don’t give me that shit.” Jay Mr.Fantastic’s his arm to the back seat, passing the blunt. It’s a swisher sweet cause he’s too lazy to lea...

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How to Field Dress a Dove in 10 Easy Steps

Luke WortleyFebruary 5, 2019

Step 1 Start with the memory of dad. When you or we or however you imagine it to be, used to ‘accidentally’ spill sunflower seeds in the back corner that bor...

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The Holly and the Ivy

James CanniceJanuary 28, 2019

I found myself lying awake around three or four on one December morning. I checked my phone to see if you had texted me anything. But you were asleep because st...

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Donald J Trump Had Friends!

JP VallièresJanuary 22, 2019

The Metamorphosis   Donald J Trump was born in a mouse hole, raised by little mice. Mice known as Mini-mice. They shaved him, painted him white...

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I Am a Beautiful Bug!

Julian K. JarboeJanuary 21, 2019

For many years, I longed to be an enormous insect. One day, I learned there was a plastic surgeon in Mississauga, Ontario famous for full-body reconstructive wo...

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CAN I STAY WITH YOU TONIGHT?

Becca WildJanuary 15, 2019

When Tara imagined what it must be like to be a man, she imagined it to be like standing on top of a building above everyone. She imagined all the girls/women s...

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The Sorrow of the Strongman

Cameron Thomas SnyderJanuary 5, 2019

We watched from the bleachers as the Christian strongman sliced an apple in half using a single strand of mint-waxed dental floss. The two juicy halves crashed ...

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