MY FAVORITE PERSON’S LEAST FAVORITE SHOW

Joshua DaltonMarch 22, 2019

PROLOGUE “I’m Always Trying to Fill My God-shaped Asshole”   ME:   I feel so lucky to have met you. FP:    … ME:   Grindr usually sucks, but thi...

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$$$

Zac SmithMarch 15, 2019

I sold everything I felt like I wouldn't want to pass along to my kids, whenever, if-ever, I had them. Which meant I sold everything, basically. My kids would d...

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Unchanged Melodies

Kristine BrownMarch 13, 2019

They circled around him. The children, in their apricot tans and indigo violet jeans, pointing at where his glasses were bent askew. A boy, Mark, dug his nails ...

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Hey Jerry, You Gotta See This Thing

Joel KassackFebruary 11, 2019

  It’s of a bald eagle looking off to the side in a smoldering, sort of brooding kind of way, like Richard Gere in American Gigolo. No. No, I wouldn’t g...

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A SONG YOU CAN DIE TO

Daniel de LeónFebruary 8, 2019

Under the backyard lamps, amid the hum of summer insects in the near-northern suburbs of Jaffa, Ariel drew his guitar from its case. Zamir chuckled, speaking w...

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On the Edge of the Woods

Kyra KondisFebruary 6, 2019

Dylan and Olivia have bad news for each other. “You go first,” Dylan says. He is still deciding what to say, how to explain. Olivia mumbles her news into ...

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Artifacts of Holy Amalgamation

Mike CorraoFebruary 5, 2019

The technician approaches the jaw of the subject. She slides her fingers from the teeth to the throat and slowly pries the joint open. Pale complexions illumina...

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Small World

Carlo MartinezFebruary 5, 2019

“Mac was top five dog, don’t give me that shit.” Jay Mr.Fantastic’s his arm to the back seat, passing the blunt. It’s a swisher sweet cause he’s too lazy to lea...

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How to Field Dress a Dove in 10 Easy Steps

Luke WortleyFebruary 5, 2019

Step 1 Start with the memory of dad. When you or we or however you imagine it to be, used to ‘accidentally’ spill sunflower seeds in the back corner that bor...

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The Holly and the Ivy

James CanniceJanuary 28, 2019

I found myself lying awake around three or four on one December morning. I checked my phone to see if you had texted me anything. But you were asleep because st...

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Donald J Trump Had Friends!

JP VallièresJanuary 22, 2019

The Metamorphosis   Donald J Trump was born in a mouse hole, raised by little mice. Mice known as Mini-mice. They shaved him, painted him white...

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I Am a Beautiful Bug!

Julian K. JarboeJanuary 21, 2019

For many years, I longed to be an enormous insect. One day, I learned there was a plastic surgeon in Mississauga, Ontario famous for full-body reconstructive wo...

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CAN I STAY WITH YOU TONIGHT?

Becca WildJanuary 15, 2019

When Tara imagined what it must be like to be a man, she imagined it to be like standing on top of a building above everyone. She imagined all the girls/women s...

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The Sorrow of the Strongman

Cameron Thomas SnyderJanuary 5, 2019

We watched from the bleachers as the Christian strongman sliced an apple in half using a single strand of mint-waxed dental floss. The two juicy halves crashed ...

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That End of August Feeling

Hart MuldoonDecember 30, 2018

Look at you. Sitting there under lavender sheets. Naked, staring out the window. Leaning against that pillow you call a husband. Buck up—you’ve got a life ahead...

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All the President’s Dogs

Blake WallinDecember 6, 2018

This is an excerpt from a fantasy satire novel entitled More Perfect   August 27, 2211 (10:00am) The President rode his coattails into whatever form...

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On the Downbeat

Cecilia KennedyNovember 25, 2018

  There’s a syncopated, synthesizer, drum machine, reguetón beat that calls out over my Bose® speakers—and that beat belongs to the song “Vaivén” by Dad...

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Threatening Behaviour

Hasen HullNovember 25, 2018

There was a gap of three days between the end of my last lease and the start of my next. During that time, I was essentially homeless. The familial home was one...

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Tuesday

Wendy PetersonNovember 25, 2018

“We’ll give you some time just in case.” I had a week. A week to hold onto the doctor’s note and reconsider. A week because I couldn’t do it any sooner. I ha...

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Rules for Escaping

Nick FarriellaOctober 24, 2018

The man awakes in a room of his own design. He stretches across the green ripped up couch, looks around. In front of the couch are two leather desk chairs with ...

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What Fucking up Feels Like

Nathaniel Kennon PerkinsSeptember 19, 2018

I feel like I fucked up, maybe. Like I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about my girlfriend cheating on me. Because I actually don’t care if my sexual partne...

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A Cycle of Toxic Domestication

Delvon T. MattinglySeptember 15, 2018

You’re both young, and in love. You agree to move in together. All your belongings are jointly threaded by your souls, from the furniture sets in the living are...

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THE TINDER BIO AS AN EXPRESSION OF MY CURRENT MENTAL STATE

Marisa CraneAugust 15, 2018

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve managed to hack my Gmail and find my Google doc containing every Tinder bio I’ve ever had, arranged by date. This is the...

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May Contain Gluten

Keaton SmithAugust 15, 2018

Huey Seymour stood in the two-foot deep hole in the back corner of the yard behind his family’s farmhouse, located in Central Kansas. His eyes dashed left and r...

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To You, in Another 31 Years

Steve GergleyJuly 31, 2018

  For thirty-one days you’ve been trapped inside this house, searching for an exit. There is a part of you that craves this idea of freedom more than an...

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Russell the Muscle Brings the Pain

Harris LahtiJune 13, 2018

Tonight—like every Monday night—the residents of Lexington Home crowd the living room to watch the leotarded men of WWE wrestling trade body-slams and bark scho...

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RESTAURANT BOY

Blake MiddletonJune 2, 2018

I've worked at the same restaurant for five years.   Not the worst job ever.   No no.   Not terrible.   Just, you kn...

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For My Beautiful Daughter Marilyn on Her 16th Birthday

Alex EbelMay 31, 2018

After reading the card aloud, Marilyn’s mother carefully opened the gift she had finished wrapping moments before. Inside the box was an apron made of heavy red...

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Determinants

Kelly FlynnMay 29, 2018

We put our wine glasses on cocktail tables and face the stage. I don’t think he should be drinking. A year ago I got a text message at 3am on a Tuesday. In a fe...

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Two Storeys

Steve AnwyllMay 25, 2018

It sounds like a sack of concrete hitting the pavement. No life. So I get off the couch. Stand still for a moment. Listen to the curses being yelled down below....

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