Fiction

Boy On Display

I slept in a ball of my mother's bras as a boy - not a fetish, there was just nowhere else to sleep. We lived in the back of a department store. We posed during...

Circles

You are doing doughnuts in the Walmart parking lot at 2am.  You can’t sleep.  You never sleep anymore.  The song “Methuselah Rookie Card” by Snowing is so loud ...

Captions

Above: A portrait of Phillip Hillwood painted by the doddering and much-acclaimed expressionist Malcolm Ulrich appeared in conjunction with a breathless story t...

Ted Danson

You’re lonely and depressed; your grandfather died only a few weeks ago and now you have the house to yourself. It’s so silent that it bothers you, makes it dif...

Reruns

“Daddy Norton has fallen and broken his leg,” announced Ryan Seacrest, grinning widely from the rabbit-eared television in the corner. “Turn that shit off, w...

Alexa

“I'm feeling a little down today Alexa, Tell me a joke.” "Okay, what do you call single cheese?" "I don't know. What?" "Provolonely!" “That'...

What Fresh Hell

The centerpiece of the main square is a one-eyed statue. He leans forward, hands extended though no one remembers he was once holding a tray. His jarring figure...

Puppet Love

Triceratop—that’s what he told me to call him, however silly it sounded. Dressed in lion-themed cotton pajamas, Triceratop didn’t so much resemble a herbivorous...

roast beast

She sent me this YouTube video of a cat trapped in a house, that should be meowing/hissing, but instead somebody dubbed themselves going “heyyyyyyyyy” every tim...