The number of years you have lived.

The number of years you existed before you felt you had really lived.

The number of cars you have owned.

The number of email addresses you have used.

The number of email addresses you still use.

The number of different passwords you have.

The number of photos taken of you as a child.

The number of photos you have framed and on display in your house.

The number of photo frames you have been given as presents and haven’t yet taken out of their boxes.

The number of people who have smiled at you today.

The number of hours of television programmes you have recorded and not yet found the time to watch.

The number of programmes you have downloaded and not yet found the time to watch.

The number of DVDs you own and have not yet found the time to watch.

The number of videos you own and have not yet found the time to watch.

The number of items you have in your house that you have borrowed from someone and not given back.

The number of people who owe you money.

The number of people you owe money to.

The number of members of the opposite sex you’ve seen naked.

The number of them you’d like to see naked again.

The number of ex-lovers you still count as friends.

The number of houses you’ve lived in.

The number of exams you’ve failed.

The number of times you’ve said you’d never do that again.

The number of times you did that again.

The number of countries you’ve visited.

The number of countries you’d like to visit.

The number of people who regularly send you birthday cards.

The number of people you regularly send birthday cards to.

The number of rooms in your house you have had sex in.

The number of rooms in other people’s houses you have had sex in.

The number of times you’ve been spoken to by a policeman.

The number of siblings you have.

The number of siblings you no longer have.

The number of friends you’ve lost contact with.

The number of friends you’ve lost.

The number of people you’ve had sex with.

The number of people you’ve made love to.

The number of people who’ve made love to you.

The number of belts you own.

The number of Oscar-winning films you haven’t seen.

The number of hairs you pick out of the plughole when you shower.

The number of them that are grey.

The number of television channels you have access to but never watch.

The number of people you flirt with on a regular basis.

The number of times you’ve voted, loyally and optimistically, even though the other side always get in.

The number of new year’s resolutions you’ve made.

The number of new year’s resolutions you’ve kept.

The number of new year’s resolutions you didn’t bother making.

The number of dwarves you can name before you start repeating yourself.

The number of chocolate digestives you consider to be a serving.

The number of famous people you have fancied who are now dead.

The number of wedding outfits you have.

The number of funeral outfits you have.

The number of schools you attended.

The number of school reunions you have attended.

The number of people you would be interested in catching up with if you attended a school reunion.

The number of people you have loved.

The number of people you have told that you loved them.

The number of people who have told you they love you.

The number of people who, for whatever reason, couldn’t tell you.

The number of people who, for whatever reason, you couldn’t tell.

The number of people who know.