Fiction

Reruns

“Daddy Norton has fallen and broken his leg,” announced Ryan Seacrest, grinning widely from the rabbit-eared television in the corner. “Turn that shit off, w...

Alexa

“I'm feeling a little down today Alexa, Tell me a joke.” "Okay, what do you call single cheese?" "I don't know. What?" "Provolonely!" “That'...

What Fresh Hell

The centerpiece of the main square is a one-eyed statue. He leans forward, hands extended though no one remembers he was once holding a tray. His jarring figure...

Puppet Love

Triceratop—that’s what he told me to call him, however silly it sounded. Dressed in lion-themed cotton pajamas, Triceratop didn’t so much resemble a herbivorous...

roast beast

She sent me this YouTube video of a cat trapped in a house, that should be meowing/hissing, but instead somebody dubbed themselves going “heyyyyyyyyy” every tim...

Engine Flooding

You can see the cellphone, flushed teal underneath at least three feet of water, shiver when the pond’s surface gets frayed by the wind. You are on your hands a...

Selfish Clouds

I am so thirsty for the news of bats. When the sickness came when we were in college, they first said it was pigs and primates, but then they turned to bats. Wh...

Dry Laugh Here

Thomas Paulson was melting onstage. Sweat drew lines from his forehead down through the pancake makeup on his face. The spotlight never used to be this warm, an...

The Moon Squad

We are not astronauts. We didn’t get here on purpose. Thom and Alia were riding ahead of me, side by side, in love like always, down a long stretch of road some...