Death, at TGI Fridays

Tilden CulverNovember 5, 2026

Cheryl was going to kill God. She had come up with the idea one morning, sitting in her infusion chair. It was a Thursday morning, and this fact in itself ma...

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Timothée Chalamet, Courtside

Thomas MoranOctober 29, 2026

Timothée Chalamet barely notices the patch of darkness in the middle of the court. He barely registers the shadow, cast by nothing in particular, which is begin...

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I Can’t Stop Thinking About Orange Juice

Jordan MoffattOctober 28, 2026

Phoebe and I are on our way to the elevators when she mentions she has a craving for orange juice. I tell her I haven’t had orange juice in years, on account of...

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Clown Picture

Amelia AnthonyOctober 26, 2026

At Ellie’s Halloween party I knew quite a few people. I had come with my roommate Mina who worked with Ellie at the magazine. It was the regular magazine crew. ...

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The Horseshoe Constellation

Robert JohnsonOctober 16, 2026

We’d been in the car most of the afternoon and saw the rooftop first when we crested the ridge. Then yellow. And finally, the fluffing green of the lawn and, fi...

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Voracious

J. V. MolenaarOctober 15, 2026

RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast To: ChefFrankenF00d1e89:   After reading your proposition on the forums, I am reaching out to enquire as to the real...

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RAIL-BIKING INSTRUCTIONS

Zoé MahfouzOctober 9, 2026

Okay everybody, welcome to this rail bike activity where you will embark on a four-wheeled bike that runs on railroad tracks for ten miles! If you’re wearing su...

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Yes, I Was a Dictator of a Small Island Off the Coast of Panama That I Won in a Poker Game

Tony HollowayOctober 6, 2026

Part One:  An Island Wager   It was around 2:30 in the morning when Armand Muñoz decided to go all in on an ace high that, for all intents and purposes, s...

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Cereal Killer

Kiana M. CauwelsOctober 5, 2026

Cracker Jack boxes walked so cereal boxes could run. And nothing sold kids on either quite like having a little prize hidden within the sedimentary layers of su...

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Why Things Didn’t Work Out Between Me and my Ex-Wife, a Length of Metal Rod

Eli S. EvansOctober 2, 2026

Come the weekend, I always wanted to go out to the bars, whereas she always wanted to go out to the bar bars. Needless to say, there were other issues, as well....

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The Stalk Market

Sean DowieSeptember 25, 2026

Only nine-hundred and sixty-two people stalked me today. I counted them carefully. My chest heaved. This was four fewer than yesterday. Maybe they chose to stal...

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An Oral History of a Burgeoning Rock Scene in Post-Apocalyptic New York City

Lana SchwartzSeptember 10, 2026

Lead Singer of Indie Rock Band: Everyone has a different dream of New York City, right?  Lead Singer of Different Indie Rock Band: You wouldn’t believe how bea...

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MY NAME IS SPENCER PLEASE HELP

Gabriela GorgasSeptember 8, 2026

My name is Spencer Walsh and I was a data analyst. Now I am a labradoodle and my owner calls me Captain. I met her at a bar and we talked for a while. Then we w...

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Pac-Man

Ben WoodSeptember 3, 2026

It’s your Saturday, so you take the boys to the arcade, and as they get their fill of gore on the Mortal Kombat machine, you notice Pac-Man in the corner, a fla...

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Timmy’s Tutorials: How to Poison Yourself

Aiden WiscombeSeptember 1, 2026

TIMMY’S TUTORIALS™  Serving how-tos on the web for 26 years!   How to Poison Yourself By James Castle (Timmy’s Staff) Last Updated: August 2...

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The Comet Motel

Mary OrzechowskiAugust 31, 2026

The original neon sign still stands out by the boulevard. The neon filaments declare this to be The Comet Motel in a flashy, mid-century script. Just in case...

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Andromeda DeMayo’s Guide for a Successful Halloween (featuring wisdom from Blood Meridian)

T.S. CarneyAugust 28, 2026

​I'm Andromeda DeMayo. ​I'm eight-years-old ​Have an IQ of 160 ​And I'm in Mensa. ​I'm in the gifted class in school—second place to Polly McKreckle...

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Dr. Frankenstein Lifts His Chainsaw

Bailey BujnosekAugust 25, 2026

In the version where Dr. Frankenstein lives, and lives forever, he finally makes a bride. She is not cobbled together from body parts, and she is not made to ma...

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The Benefit of An Ongoing Existential Crises

Ben ScottAugust 24, 2026

It started with the pot. My wife had texted me, while I was at work on Friday, that she stopped at a dispensary and bought some flower.  “Party weekend!” That d...

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The Number You’ve Dialed is No Longer in Service

Eric LutzAugust 21, 2026

“That,” Martin says, “is the World’s Largest Rocking Chair.” And it actually rocks, he says—it wouldn’t be eligible for the designation otherwise. He gets this ...

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One Loud Dog

Sam FranziniAugust 10, 2026

Bloomberg reported that Rebecca’s ex-husband was going to prison. She came into the office with a big beautiful smile on her face as if nothing happened, but ob...

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beginnings and endings

Michael CostarisJuly 29, 2026

There was a day when the act of watching no longer sufficed. Mark does not remember this day, does not remember when he said to himself, “I can’t just passively...

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White Iverson

Sarp SozdinlerJuly 15, 2026

White Iverson and I shoot hoops in the back of our high school where we met way before White Iverson became White Iverson and grew relatively rich and famous, b...

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POSSESSED EVIL DOLL WANTED. I ALREADY HAVE ONE. BUT WOULD LIKE TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TWO MET. MAYBE GOOD THINGS? DM ME.

Will SimpsonJuly 13, 2026

That’s all the ad on Instagram said. There was a little profile picture of a guy in a black hoody posing with ninja stars. The ad itself was a black and white i...

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THE LAST THERAPY SESSION YOU’LL EVER NEED

Ron ArbuckleJuly 10, 2026

If I was a therapist, I’d fix you in one session. You’d never need a second appointment. Don’t worry about charging it to insurance. I’ll do all my work pro bon...

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A Pirate’s Life in Reno, Nevada

J. HellendJuly 8, 2026

It’s white-out conditions through Donner Pass, we don’t have tire chains and I can’t stop thinking about the gun in the glove box. No heater, obviously, right? ...

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PUMKIN

Lee Matthew GoldbergJuly 6, 2026

The desire to leave the city, the pull of the Northern Vermont Countryside, tucked away near the Green Mountains appealed to the Finns. Leaving Boston behind wh...

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Approximately 35-Year-Old Female

Kate FaigenJuly 5, 2026

I was jamming to The Sopranos theme song when a Maserati hit me midway through the crosswalk. The EMT that kept me from reaching the pearly gates was so attract...

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Needs

Kevin C. JonesJuly 5, 2026

and she’s lighting up again and now I’ve lost track of how many cigarettes she’s smoked although, really, I wasn’t even counting to begin with, but it seems lik...

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Paul Bunyan, Superspy

Lillie E. FranksJune 29, 2026

Now, Paul Bunyan was a big man, born big and grown bigger every year, so that by the time he was nine years old, he was obliged to duck down when he went outsid...

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