Voracious

RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast

To: ChefFrankenF00d1e89:

After reading your proposition on the forums, I am reaching out to enquire as to the reality of your post’s content.

Is what you wrote fantasy or a sincere desire and open invitation for this rare autumnal moment? As to the preparation of the meat, how will it be served? Blue, or rare? Moreover, will it be one course or a slow multi-course meal? As blue or rare is my preference for meat of this quality, I would hope for an extended opportunity to savor its flavor.

 I also wondered what accoutrement and wine pairing would be served, as the perfection of this meal is of the utmost importance for the occasion.

Cordially with Interest,

-F00d1sMyK1nk07

RE: RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast

To: F00d1sMyK1nk07:

My inquiry was posed in utmost sincerity and delight.

I will confess I have waited a long time for a guest with the palate to ask for it blue. Most ask for well-done, out of some misplaced mercy. 

You did not.

As previously noted, the engagement will occur on the Thirteenth of October as it is a Friday AND a new moon. In reference to your query of preparation, the meal will be an elegant banquet in the French style for two. The menu, including its wine pairings which I have designed and trialed (albeit with pig as substitute), is outlined below:

Course One: A Golden Broth.

The marrow will be clarified until it runs closer to gold than stock. On the night, I will pour it myself, tableside, over a small mound of roasted squash. It shall be impeccably warm and light, just enough to awaken your appetite without assaulting it.

Course Two: An Autumn Tartare.

The muscle will be hand cut, not chopped, and dressed lightly in pumpkin seed oil, then finished with shaved black truffle so dark it nearly disappears against the plate. It matters that the tissue falls apart the correct way.

Course Three: The Confit.

The thigh muscle will be delicately hand cut and cooked for hours in its own fat until it needs no knife. It will rest atop a squash cream, finished with a little nutmeg. I will not serve it until it is right.

Course Four: A Crackle Salad.

A thin fillet of skin, rendered until it shatters, served atop a bitter field-greens salad with chestnuts slow roasted in a savory pumpkin butter.

Course Five: The Offering.

A single thick slice of flesh, unadorned, cut at the table in front of you, then dusted with an ash I have already made from burnt pumpkin skin. You will see perfection before you taste it.

The Wines:

A rich, buttery white will open the evening, followed by something velvety and a little wild alongside the tartare. Then, a dark, robust red will cut through the richness of the confit, and a sharper pour will meet the crackle of the salad course. To finish, something old, dark, complex, expensive, and completely unforgiving accompanies the offering, the kind of bottle you save for something you will not get to have twice.

Deliciously & Expectantly,

-ChefFrankenF00d1e89

RE: RE: RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast

To: ChefFrankenF00d1e89:

I would like to joyfully affirm my attendance and participation in your soirée. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help ease the stresses of preparation.

I have already submitted the necessary legal disclosures to my attorney, including my last will and testament, as well as a DNR order (just in case). I will bring notarized copies upon arrival at your estate.

 If I may beg your indulgence, and it does not disrupt the magnificence of your design — may I know the true name of the chef whose menu I will indulge?

            Excitedly and hungrily yours,

                                       -F00d1sMyK1nk07

RE: RE: RE: RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast

To: F00d1sMyK1nk07:

As we want the gustatory specimen to be in the perfect state for delectation, please make sure to follow the following procedures and use organic and/or locally sourced ingredients whenever possible.

Two weeks prior to the feast:

• Please stop consumption of all altering substances including but not limited to alcohol, marijuana, medications, vitamins, and any other substances that may toxify the meat.
• You will now want to begin an infusion diet of squashes and chestnuts please consume as much as your stomach will allow for proper infusion.
• During this time, please only consume distilled or spring water to drink to begin to flush the meat of accumulated toxins.

October 6th through the morning of October 9th:

• Start the morning of the 6th by consuming as much pure water as your body will allow. This will further flush toxins from the meat and blood while the infusion diet continues to flavor the meat.
• On the morning of the 9th, have a hearty breakfast of squash and chestnuts, and continue to hydrate throughout the day on your journey to my estate.
• When you arrive, we will be able to complete the final stages of preparation here.

Please note: During your infusion and detox, you may experience vivid daydreams and color-filled nights, this is normal and in my own experience, rather pleasant!

Please feel no obligation to bring anything with you other than a ravenous appetite, as dining attire will be provided upon arrival, after ID and disclosure verification.

I look forward to this truly rare and enchanting evening and cannot express the depths of my gratitude for your allowing me to be your host and chef of this endeavor.

You may call me Chef.

Bon voyage!

-ChefFrankenF00d1e89

P.S.: As you seem to understand the importance of the purity of the meat and preparation procedures, shall I assume that no sedatives or anesthetics will be needed?

RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: A Rare Autumnal Feast

To: ChefFrankenF00d1e89:

It is with great excitement that I inform you I have followed your instructions to a T and look forward to our culinary ventures. I have received my flight tickets and will arrive at your estate soon.

You told me to call you Chef. I will think of you as that, and nothing else, until the 13th…

            Bon appétit!

                    -F00d1sMyK1nk07