Review: The Hands are Coming Too.

Lindsay ComerSeptember 5, 2024

Film Weekly Editor’s Note – After much discussion with my fellow editors, we have decided to run this final review from our long-standing reviewer Professor Ffi...

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Plant-Based Diet

Rufus GallupSeptember 1, 2024

Since the climate crisis shifted from slow-motion-train-wreck-speed to everything-being-on-fire-all-of-the-time-speed, we’ve been experimenting with some biodyn...

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The Pop Star’s Post-Breakup (?) Viral Music Video

Tina S. ZhuAugust 21, 2024

Steady bass over a sample of Bill Nye the Science Guy saying “universe” distorted beyond recognition. A frog balloon in a grocery store. The pop star dancing wi...

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I Am the Elevator You’re Stuck Inside, and Trust Me, I Don’t Want to Be Here Either

Ryan Bender-MurphyJuly 24, 2024

What the hell! You’re supposed to be having a full-blown existential crisis! Not playing solitaire while you wait for the repairman! I’m bored as fuck! If on...

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Your New Matches on Tinder

Adam McOmberJuly 23, 2024

A guy with brown hair. A guy with blond hair. A guy from down the street. You’ve seen him at the grocery store. A lawyer from Pasadena. A narcissist. An android...

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When Terri Locked Me Out of Our Doomsday Bunker

Mike ItayaJuly 22, 2024

Terri, six months ago I went on a whiskey bender and you fled our Big Bad Marriage into the doomsday bunker. I don’t want to “gloss over” here (my therapist,...

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Airplane Toilet Thought Exercise

Leo VartorellaJuly 16, 2024

You are in a bathroom stall. Doesn't matter where. It is tight. You are very aware of your knees. You are doing whatever it is you do in there. You know. The ba...

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A Letter to Peter Blume

Chad SullivanJuly 12, 2024

Blume– If only rafters buckled more easily. If only his studio had been fireproof and Agnes faithful. If only automobiles didn’t accordion against walls and ...

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Control

Terena Elizabeth BellJuly 11, 2024

for Rose & Buddy Fenster   “Of course he can do something. That doesn’t mean he’s going to.” That’s what her husband had said while they were ge...

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If San Antonio is My Final Resting Place, Just Kick Me Over the County Line

V Garmon KoskiJuly 8, 2024

  Stars and other bullshit swirl above, overdone as only the day-in-day-out night sky can be. The most hauntingly trite backdrop to meet your end beneat...

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Patience (n): the ability to tolerate delay with grace

Jennifer LaiJuly 3, 2024

c’mon lady scan faster chop chop this ain’t a talk show damn that’s a lot of cat food wow look at the lines sheesh good thing I got here early ha sucks to be th...

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Dragon Ball Z Slow Cooker / I’ll Bet $100

Luc MJuly 1, 2024

There's so many different sounds on the train i can barely take it, theres like a constant ambient droning and sharp sounds cutting through, shouts that are jus...

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Queer devil is on his way to eat at a restaurant alone

Chel BuffreyJune 25, 2024

My tail is tucked awkwardly in my jeans, taped to leg for security. This is so I don’t draw attention in public and I’m not wearing my cap that says ‘Your Brand...

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It is what it is (or, Finally! Unironically An Actual Shower Thought!!!)

Matt PatrickJune 21, 2024

“Do you know that feeling of ‘when you step in the shower and that first hot stream hits your lower back’?” -Me, in the shower, to the imagined audience of m...

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Cotton-Candy Apocalypse

Nayt RundquistJune 18, 2024

A review of Dira Tore’s Perturbation   Never have I so badly wanted to devour a film and be devoured by it. To be crushed, masticated, peristalsised all the...

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The Bad Guy

Frances KleinJune 17, 2024

My son puts on a bad guy hat and a bad guy shirt. His bad guy shoes make big bad echoes in the empty house. I am a bad guy, he tells me. I will pretend to...

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do monkeys get depressed?

Ashley PennockJune 14, 2024

<Google> do monkeys get depressed?   NHPs often experience depression similar to humans. When placed in isolation—   <Google> ...

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The Saxophone Man

Maureen O'LearyJune 12, 2024

Imagine the Victorian mansion strung in Christmas lights for Halloween at my first gig as a fake medium. Imagine that not all mediums are fake. Imagine a stomac...

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Jacques

Steve GergleyJune 11, 2024

Years ago I went to high school with a French guy who punched cobras in the face for fun. His name was Jacques. No one thought he would ever do anything with hi...

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The bully in my pillow

Kik LodgeJune 3, 2024

Just as my eyelids are set to slump, the bully in my pillow says, You really think it’s time for sleeping, you aspiring loser? Think switching off is ever going...

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Nijinsky

Cameron DarcMay 29, 2024

I pore over drawings by famous psychotics. The erotomaniac Adele Hugo’s senseless novel diary, walls of black scrawl. She was trying to mirror her father, shut ...

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Paper Airplanes

Zach Keali’i MurphyMay 28, 2024

My older brother, Kai, had a penchant for blackmailing me. To be fair, I used the same tactics against him. If he refrained from telling our parents about the t...

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Crocodile

Bridge LowerMay 27, 2024

        At night you stay awake and search.           mexico resort crocodile a...

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Have You Seen Her?

D.T. RobbinsMay 17, 2024

We have this thing where if we get too close, our heads explode and we die. I go, “I’ll live underground, you live aboveground. The layers of dirt and rock w...

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We don’t know for sure there’d been a murder.

Elissa FieldMay 15, 2024

Not for sure. What we knew was that Eliot had ordered a telescope straight from China – not more than $200, we were shocked – and he had shown us – photographed...

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Night Swim

Amy DeBellisMay 6, 2024

You chug spiked hot chocolate, dig your toes into cold clinging sand, bare your throat to the maddened sprawl of stars. The light of the party is behind you now...

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Happy endings

Irene GentleApril 30, 2024

You blew out the last candle at 10 pm. As if this room isn’t a shrine, as if your peeling photograph, coffee stain like a birthmark isn’t propped against the on...

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Third Date Is When You Tell ‘Em

Sasha BrownApril 23, 2024

CW: it’s just sort of gross   They were making out on his couch when Rich said, “I gotta tell you something, baby: I have crabs.” “Fuck!” Larissa pu...

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My Skeleton Wants Out

David HensonApril 18, 2024

It would like nothing more than to shed, pirouette and moonwalk away to its own music, leaving me behind like a deflated pool dragon. My skeleton’s drumbeat ...

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Ted’s funeral is held at McDonald’s

Cheryl MarkoskyMarch 18, 2024

Frank deep-fat cremates him and scatters his ashes along with fries in the park. McNugget Buddies forever, Dipstick Kid and Layabout Louis pay their respects...

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