One time I wrote a poem about the Netherlands. It’s all about how I took the train from Amsterdam to the sea. I wrote about the green fields and the men in thos...
She never liked Solitaire. Or Minesweeper. SkiFree. Remember SkiFree? A few pixels of a downhill skier, dodging trees, jumping rocks. You are racing ahead with ...
We were in the hot spot. Father slipped out of the army. New life emerged in the new city. Skeleton trees. Buttery sunsets. When father found the new job at the...
I knew that one day my contributions to cinema would be recognized. After a decade of stiff backs, sore buttocks and increasingly arthritic fingers, the time ha...
No Curse Tower
103993, Otherworldly Avenue 3
Monthly Rent: $4,000
Bedrooms: 2
You’ve spent weeks trying to find a safe and cozy apartment that would...
We watched the man at the park give in to the intrusive thoughts.
“You, you, and you. In the middle,” he pointed at the larger boys. Then to the tiny ones, “...
Her bones clank beneath her skin, stiff and reluctant, each step heavier than the last. The air presses in, thick and suffocating, clinging to her, trying to ke...
Fisherman Peter caught the gay merman with queerbait.
Explicit gay content was illegal on land, even in pursuit of mermen flesh. Luckily, fishermen learned how...
Broken pens, Bic lighters, and sticky dimes and pennies floated up through the cushions of the sofa and pinched the thighs of the teenagers who were all suppose...
In Kenosha I fell in love with the sunrise. The lighter found my cigarette and the sugar free redbull was right beside me in the cupholder. The turf grass lawn ...
She lifts the lucky rabbit’s foot on her keychain and rubs it with her thumb before opening the car door, when a colony of rabbits hops out from the bushes, eac...
The ping isn’t a sound you hear. It’s a sound you feel, threading its way through drywall, like a signal searching for marrow. At first, it was just static: NOA...
The ground sparkled like a Twilight vampire before you had yelled, “are you serious?” opening night, making the entire theater laugh. Edwardian snow felt like t...
The first signs were somewhat easy to ignore. Scratchy throat, hoarse voice, slight difficulty swallowing. The show must go on. But as the small tears and burni...
I land in Las Vegas, a city where I know nobody, for a residency. It is a hundred degrees, even with the sun disappearing behind the hotels and casinos, and my ...
Bleeding from the lip after being punched in the mouth I go talk to my financial advisor. That’s going to cost you, he says. We look at the spreadsheets. Up is ...
A vampire bit me while I was listening to Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso”. I was so wrapped up in the song that I didn’t notice until a few seconds later.
“Ow,”...
The first time someone died at Fantasy Fair, no one thought to check near Old Cassie. She was little more than an embellished archway, after all: something peop...
Eventually they start selling dowsing rods in the mall kiosks, right next to the Piercing Pagoda. Parallel for male, crossed rods for female- get it, crossed, l...
Don’t confess. Let the little fucker watch Dave Portnoy gamble on the family iPad. Have a canned margarita. Have two. Go for a cruise in the ’97. Roll the windo...
Selling (plural noun) over the phone, the telemarketer reads from an assigned (adjective) script, so whether it’s you, the (noun) filling in this mad lib, or hi...
They first knocked on Tuesday, softly, like fingernails on Tupperware.
Marta was hunched over her kitchen table eating cold oatmeal with a chipped spoon. She...
1.Snow Plow
I’m plowing the slushy snow when my snow plow bursts into flames. It’s February. It’s my third day on the job. It’s a beautiful and disgusting wint...
2:17 a.m., Tokyo. The train station is empty. Fluorescent lights buzz overhead, the air thick with the low pulse of night, everything washed in greenish light. ...
On a quiet and deserted beach at the end of time, the Time Traveling Comedian walks alone.
A grandfather clock sits half-submerged in the sand, crooked and c...
We don't notice King Kong atop the tallest skyscraper or Godzilla emerging from the ocean. The world is ending, but you and I are climaxing – first you, then me...
He arrived with the food, she wiped hot sauce and shards of yellow cheese from the table. Nearby, a family said grace over burritos and sodas.
“I can’t belie...