c’mon lady scan faster chop chop this ain’t a talk show damn that’s a lot of cat food wow look at the lines sheesh good thing I got here early ha sucks to be them think I got everything—chips cake juice balloons burgers ice cream—shoot there was something else what was it? Answer the phone John answer the phone, heavens where’d all these people come from? Doesn’t anyone go to church? Hope there’s no traffic shouldn’t have any traffic better not have any traffic, did I fill the tank? Think I filled the tank, yeah I filled the tank, ooh Kit Kat haven’t had those in a while—No. Diet. Stick to diet. Well, maybe half, I’ll only eat half, yeah half is good, half the calories, half is nothing, I’ll throw away the other half, wonder if anyone’s arrived yet? Alright lady my ovaries are drying out here, what’s going on? Cripes, a check. Really? A check? Jesus wept. Boy the lines are never-ending, should’ve came last night John should’ve came last night why do I always have to come? He better have the decorations up by now man I have to pee how much longer is this going to—ugh finally FINALLY. “Hi. Good. Yeah. Nice weather. Uh-huh. Six. Grace. After her grandma. What’s that? Candles? Can…dles. Fuuuuuck!”
Shelby Cohron