Hello!
Nice to meet you!
I’m a statistic! (Previously a human being!)
But when you die you become a statistic so here we are.
I had a job before I w...
Martha Stewart was sentenced to five months in prison, a year of house arrest, and two years of probation after being charged with conspiracy, obstruction of ju...
It’s the Dark Moon. I’ve been wandering these woods for hours, passing trees, each peak and valley in the bark a fingerprint, yet I circle them. Lost. Who did I...
Death actually just climbed into the cannon himself, so that was pretty profound and everything. Before he got in, he stood there for a moment admirin...
The day she found out she was fictional, she was eating a slice of pizza. No, it was not pepperoni or cheese. Those toppings are too common, too overrated. She ...
The apartment stunk of microwaved meat and potatoes. My grandfather sat on his brown leather recliner, picking at the stuffing coming out of a hole in the leath...
My partner left me because I told her turquoise jaguars weren’t real. And I realize I may have been mean, despite the realistic turquoise bust that was mounted ...
On a trail near Wolf Creek, a shirtless jogger passed our group at 12,000 feet. A tattoo of Idaho was emblazoned on his right shoulder. Sweat trickled down his ...
Tabakovic’s gaze bores through Dashem’s head. The rapping of Dashem’s knuckles on the table intensifies. Would Dashem restore the lost glory to Vladivania? How ...
When you’re born, your Name will be waiting for you, standing by your father. You’ll quickly be able to recognize your Name, even if you don’t know how to spell...
1.
Drunk and despairing, I plucked this book from a low-hanging branch. I bit into its tender flesh and let the inky juice drip down my chin. I stumbled back...
I was in the hotel room and had managed to create a wedge of space between the bed and the nightstand, about a metre wide, and I had bunched myself into this bo...
It pretty much started with him howling during orgasm on top of his girlfriend one night. After that, he grew a mustache. He’d never had a mustache. Thick red f...
Details accrue quietly in Tara Isabel Zambrano’s debut collection — in the click-clack of a neighbor’s stilettos, in yolk that clings to the fractured shell of ...
So you’ve been questioned as to whether or not you possess magic power! Here are the diagnostic criteria for determining if you are, in fact, a wizard.
Symp...
I milk likes by posting comments on YouTube. I regurgitate Tropic Thunder quotes. Bloviate about Rasputin. Make comments about friendship being like politics, r...
After the tenth shot, Giant said we had to run.
“Fuck no,” I said. This wasn’t what we’d practiced. I pictured Laura and Quinn and Danisha barricaded in Ms. ...
Later they said this is where it started, when he became a bad kid; but really, he was just pissed his square pizza was cold and that it flopped between his han...
Rhea sits in a weathered Adirondack chair outside her trailer home in Novelty, Ohio, the only hotel-free location in the whole of Russell Township. The Titans a...
“You very handsome now. You look very cool. You look 26, not 62!” Cheryl laughed her low, deep laugh. If Cher had a Malaysian counterpart, she would sound ...
It's been six weeks, two days and 17 hours since we last spoke. I know I shouldn't be thinking about you as often as I am. I certainly shouldn't be keeping trac...
There’s a trend here. She says 5, I say 6:30; she asks where I am, I say, “coming;” she stares at her watch, I arrive frenzied. I voiced my excuse for that part...
Past the point of no return something always goes terribly wrong—an exploding oxygen tank, an errant asteroid, sabotage by the Iago-like stowaway—and the spacec...
You got a fast car. I remember the day you came home with it, the way you sat at the kitchen counter and spun the keys around your index finger by the metal rin...
It’s a weird feeling being dead.
When the lightning hit, physically my body went down, but a part of me went up. I begin to float, like a balloon filled with...