At night you stay awake and search.

 

        mexico resort crocodile att-
       The word attack autocompletes; it knows what you want.

        Resume browsing? Yes.
        You press return and the results fill the page, the headlines too familiar. You never click on any of them because you already know: it came ashore, took the child, and dragged her into the sea. You don’t need to read the articles. It took four seconds. Once you know the horrors of what could happen, you can never unknow them. Better, though, to know them.

       There’s a new result since your last search. It says wild animal control has captured and relocated at least 243 nuisance crocodiles from the property and it’s perfectly safe for families to return to the resort.

 

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        Nuisance crocodiles cannot be relocated. They will often return to their capture site.

 

        nuisance crocodile whisperer
        A Florida man captured a nuisance crocodile and used ‘aversive conditioning’ to try to re-program it. Before releasing it, he tied it to a board, shone bright lights in its eyes, and played loud music in its ears. Still, the crocodile returned.

        Your husband rolls over and lets out a big sleepy breath. You check to see if he’s awake.

His eyes are convincingly closed, hands are pressed in prayer under the pillow. You whisper his name; he does not respond. On the nightstand, the baby monitor glows and crackles. On it, two faces, no longer babies, safely asleep. You continue to search in the dark, alone with your phone and your thirst.

 

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        They were supposed to go to the Central Park Zoo that day but the housekeeper forgot to close the floor-to-ceiling windows in their 53rd story apartment.

 

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        Mute.

 

        baby jessica
        In 1987, Baby Jessica fell into a well and stayed there for fifty-six hours. The whole country watched as rescuers attempted to retrieve her. Years later, one of the paramedics died by suicide, unable to cope with all that had happened. They made a movie about Jessica and called it Everybody’s Baby, because she was. When she grew up, Baby Jessica returned. She bought a house less than two miles from the well.

 

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                   Edit search.

 

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                    Save search.   

 

        upper east side nanny
        Leaves and horror swept the playgrounds. An Upper East Side nanny did something wretched, something inconceivable. It was all over the news. Your daughter had just celebrated her first birthday and you couldn’t get the story out of your mind. You had just bought her a fall bonnet, thin cotton and when folded flat, was scarcely bigger than your palm. It cost twenty-eight dollars and it kept her head warm. After Thanksgiving, you’d switch her to a fleece-lined organic wool hat that cost twice as much. She was starting to walk so you’d also bought her the good leggings with the reinforced knees. Some moms put little kneepads on their toddlers but you thought this was overkill.

 

        watchmynanny.com
        Through this website, parents can purchase a license plate for their strollers, allowing anyone to anonymously report good or bad nanny sightings. Registered parents receive an email alert when a report has been filed.

 

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        all about crocodiles

 

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        You go to a family reunion. Everyone is staying together in a big Airbnb. This is not normal, you would not normally stay with all these people. Whose idea was this? You cannot relax. An uncle is being too physical with the kids. He engages them in unfair wrestling matches, tickles them too long, too hard. Your daughters love it. They shriek and beg for more.
        The uncle is up to something, you’re sure of it.
        You tell your husband and he sighs, says you should go for a walk. Have a glass of wine. Don’t be paranoid. Don’t be mad he called you paranoid.

 

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        After mating, male crocodiles leave and do not return. Female crocodiles stay and protect the nest.

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        In the room beside yours, you placed a futon mattress on the floor and made your daughters a nest of blankets and pillows. You crack the window for some air and say goodnight.

 

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        Sex determination in crocodiles is directly correlated to incubation temperature. A nest of precisely 32°C will produce males; slightly warmer or cooler will produce females. Too warm or too cool will kill all embryos.

 

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        You don’t sleep, listening for footsteps in the hallway. Your husband shifts in the bed. He can’t sleep if you can’t sleep. That’s not a rule; it’s just a fact.

        “I never said you’re crazy,” he says. “But you can’t stay awake all night.”

 

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        Crocodiles sleep with one eye open.

 

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        The uncle wants to take your daughters to the mall for some new dresses.
        A treat, he says. Since he doesn’t see them often.
        “Only if you go too,” you tell your husband.

 

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        Crocodiles are opportunistic predators. Submerged crocodiles set traps on their snouts, balancing twigs for unsuspecting birds to land on.

 

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        “He can’t go into the dressing room. Only you can.”
        “Of course,” your husband says. “I understand.”
        You triple-check the car seats are properly installed. There are as many ways to protect them as there are to lose them. You know them all.

 

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        Mother crocodiles listen for the sounds of her eggs hatching. She picks up the babies in her mouth and carries them to the water. If there are eggs that haven’t hatched, she will gently roll them in her mouth to help them open.

 

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        You text your husband at the mall.
       How’s it going?
        When do you think you’ll be back?
        He can’t go in dressing room. Just you.
        He doesn’t respond.

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        Sometimes, a mother crocodile eats her young. The acid in her stomach dissolves the bones.