James Haug is a super nice guy. His newest book is called RIVERAIN. It is out now from Oberlin College Press.
A DESCRIPTION OF A HAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO OWN BUT DO NOT OWN
A cloud-shaped hat. A hat that looks like a cloud, a cloud that looks like a rabbit.
PERHAPS MAYONNAISE HAS FINALLY BECOME TOO MUCH A PART OF MODERN LIVING
I’ve long wanted to work on a ferry. I like going back and forth, moving people back and forth. On my ferry there would be no mayo. Mayonnaise does not belong on the sea.
“Wilson Peace Prosperity”
REVEAL NOW YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT SPLIT PEA SOUP
That’s a pot I prefer not to stir.
EVER HANG OUT AROUND PITCHER’S MOUNDS ON DREARY AFTERNOONS????
Yes. I like the extra few inches of altitude. It’s splendid for “driving off the spleen.” Mounds are my favorite candy bars.
WHY USE STORE BOUGHT UNDERARM DEODORANT WHEN YOU CAN JUST RUB A PINE TREE BRANCH UNDER YOUR ARMS
Sand makes a terrific scrubbing agent. People wash their jeans with sand. I must defer to the experts.
I like toasting toast. Pre-toasted toast. Second-hand toast. Also Belgian waffles.
FAVORITE KIND OF WEATHER FOR WEARING A SMOCK
I dreamt I was a rock. I dreamt I was a scrubbing agent.
DREAMS ROCKS HAVE
Whenever I clean the stairs in my house, I think of one particular person, the same particular person, whose identity I can’t reveal. I don’t know why this happens.