At school they taught us to recognize a bell that signaled a tornado had touched down nearby. They taught us to sit in the hallway with our textbooks fanned ove...
I thought E.T. was a squid. I was riding my bike in my tuxedo and saw E.T. down there in that creek and I said to myself fuck that squid is fucking dead. People...
I'm playing a doubles pickleball match in the women's finals of an interclub tournament when my paddle breaks. The handle separates, and the paddle thuds agains...
Former late-night TV host David Letterman set up a scholarship at his alma mater;
Ball State, for C students. He recognized them to be smart in other ways.
&...
Mare was already $75,000 in the hole. A deepening, widening hole with toothy edges, and there were definitely divorce proceedings at the bottom of it. But she k...
Thursday 3rd July -
Aren’t Amanita muscaria mushrooms deceptively pretty? my husband asked. We were relaxing on the couch in the living room, watching a bota...
The door swooped open and ricocheted off a rubber stopper on the marble floor. The window blinds on the back end smacked against the wall and swung side to side...
For the purpose of this story.
For clarity’s sake.
Know that I am the son and there was a bank.
_
And the bank had planter boxes in front of the windows...
Pathetic old Warren looks demented as he climbs up onto a table near the pinball machine, a freshly poured pint of Modelo splashing around in his hand and an IV...
It’s another sunny day in Los Angeles, and the cars are honking. I ran my usual loop down to Costco, past the boxing gym, and back. Steven Tyler, my dog, pissed...
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Bro Empire
By Dr. Carneiro, Keeper of the Pods
Introduction to the 3rd Edition
Recovered from the Ruins of ...
It’s what he calls himself when reality kicks in. Like when he cleans the sick from the downstairs toilet, or climbs the stairs with his mother slumped across h...
Do you remember the game Pujkamaunka Splash?
I do.
Not that there weren’t memorable events aplenty in 1993. Clinton was inaugurated. Jurassic Park was in ...
Polyp Sportivo experienced a strange incident in the small town in which he resided. It all started when he was out taking a walk, something he was in the habit...
Cat’s eye glasses, commonly associated with librarians. Black-and-white polka dot dress. Believing in the afterlife is easier than believing she’ll never be rea...
The '79 Lincoln Continental shone blue as moonstone at high noon. It was her papa’s ‘til he died of black lung, then Suzanne’s, but I drove. A deadly heat wave ...
Their dining room felt a thousand yards long. His ice-blue eyes bored into her like needles pricking her delicate skin. Words filled the air, his lips even move...
Wading through the jungle of mental health ads, you almost feel bullied into peer depression. And what's wrong with bottling things up? Works for the whole fami...
I took a seat at the bar inside the Delta lounge at Tampa International next to the last person I wanted to see. Ryan Reynolds. Hawaiian shirt and swarmy Hollyw...
Kyle wants to have a baby with Abby. They are not married and never dated. But, he loves kids and can’t go five minutes at a family gathering without swaddling ...
Emma already regrets going to her hometown fair.
She pulls her Subaru over the uneven ground of the makeshift parking lot and into an open spot of grass. Mem...
While waiting for his father, John stood in front of the aviary in the empty rec room, trying to remember the name of the small birds flitting behind the plexig...
I was just outside of Pinewood Cove, ten miles from the anomaly, but I don’t quite remember driving, parking, or sitting at the counter of Tom's Diner. Not unco...
Whenever I get together to have lunch with my sister Pris, she’ll bring up my husband Dicky, me, Dicky’s ghosts. Then she’ll bring up daddy, because daddy had g...
My last therapist’s face never wrinkled for me. I saw her for years and in all our sessions I swear to you it didn’t wrinkle for me once.
But it did for some...
“Damn you, my Grandmas. Damn you, my Grandpas.” Kevin spoke these words under his breath, softly and without emotion. He had said them countless times: first as...
There’s this 1995 Batman Forever pinball machine for sale on Facebook marketplace, which I know because in the evenings my fiancée, Liz, likes to steal my phone...
There are pigeons in Times Square. Not just strutting like usual—owning it. Middle of the road, puffed up like landlords. I watched one fly up and drop a chicke...