Shy Watson is the author of Cheap Yellow (Civil Coping Mechanisms, 2018).
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FAVORITE GLOVE COMPARTMENTS IN THE WORLD
The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it
So I’m proposing a swift, orderly change
‘Cause behind its door, there’s nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life
I was searching for some legal document
As the rain beat down on the hood
When I stumbled upon pictures I’d tried to forget
And that’s how this idea was drilled into my head
‘Cause it’s too important to stay the way it’s been
There’s no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it’s gone it’s like it wasn’t there at all
And here I rest, where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night
MEANINGLESS SOUR CREAM AND CHIVE EXPERIENCES
sour cream & chive experiences are never meaningless but this reminds me that msw dips his tortilla chips in sour cream & that i individually salt each one
YOUR MOST JOYFUL ENCOUNTER WITH SOMEONE WHO SAID “WASHROOM” A LOT
all of my friends have small prostates &/or UTIs
MONGOOSE OR WOMBAT
goosebat
LOVE IS MAINLY ABOUT LISTENING TO CASEY KASEM TOP FORTY COUNTDOWNS AND RECORDING ALL OF THE SONGS ONTO CAREFULLY LABELED CASSETTE TAPES MAINLY???
who the fuck is casey kasem what the fuck’s a cassette tape
SANDWICHES YOU WOULD NEVER THROW OUT THE WINDOW
one time i threw an entire fast food bag of trash out the window without thinking because i was so high & right afterward i realized what i did & started panicking & my then-boyfriend was laughing so hard he almost wrecked
BUGS YOU’VE BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH
there’s a home video of me eating flies out of a windowsill while my grandma is trying to force me to do karaoke & she literally tells me in the video that i can continue eating the flies once i come back and sing more. also as a kid my cousin and i would take the glowing part off of lightning bugs and smear it onto our faces so we would glow in the dark like some kind of fucked up war paint but i don’t think we were yet at the age where one becomes aware of cruelty. and i live in a basement and see house centipedes crawling around my walls and floor almost every day.
STUFF TO DO WITH OLD MAYO JARS
bury them.
GUESS HOW MANY LEAVES I HAVE IN MY SOCKS RIGHT NOW
what socks
REASONS TO ADMIRE PHOTOGRAPHS OF BICYCLES
when i was a senior in high school i was applying to colleges as a prospective architecture student and i had to make an art portfolio in order to do it so i drew my second high school boyfriend’s dad’s bike and it took me hours and hours and hours and it looked pretty good but one of the wheels was a little messed up; i think the picture is somewhere deep in my mobile uploads on facebook from high school.
FAVORITE HILL
there was a hill on the playground of my elementary school where the kids would go hang out “downhill” which was like, where the teachers couldn’t see us because the peak of the hill obstructed their vision downwards & me and my friends had a coven & one time i made everyone bring supplies to cast a spell & we got caught but i told the teacher we were making a birthday cake for my dad & she believed us if that tells you anything about the quality of education at public schools in the rural midwest
FAVORITE KEYTAR PLAYER
demetri martin in flight of the conchords
ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY ALL STAR
(no answer provided)
ZONES WHERE STUFF IS GENERALLY GOOD LIKE DUCK POND GOOD I THINK I MEAN
THE END ZONE, BAY-BEEEEEEEE
ASK YOUR SELF A QUESTION
u up?
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