I went to the drugstore to steal stuff. You can steal all kinds of mints and gum and medicine. I stick to children’s stuff like diapers, formula, kids Tylenol. I am not a child. Nor am I a mother. But if someone catches me I’ll sure as hell cry like a starving desperate human-mother. But no one catches me. I’m too good. Even when I want to be caught the old man behind the register just looks away. I don’t like him. He should be doing his job. He should be protecting the inventory. After I fill my trench coat pockets I hit the road. I run out to my rusty Camaro and peel out of the parking lot. For a second it feels like I’ll be chased. But no one wants to follow me anywhere, even if it’s their job. Once, I spotted a police officer pointing at all the vehicles driving by with one of those guns that tell him how fast we are. When he spotted me he dropped the gun, looked at his watch, as if I wasn’t there. When I do one-hundred through a school zone no cop threatens me. I didn’t see anything, said the cop. I don’t know her. I don’t even think she exists. At least that’s what I hear them say. Have you ever been invisible? Another time I stood on the tippy top of the church. There’s a cross on the top and I was standing on the cross with my arms out like an angel. And well, I was like, Hear ye oh hear ye! But all the town walkers either turned around or crossed the street. Even the stray dogs didn’t take notice. They pretended to chase a squirrel or sniff their own butt. I stole a car last week. A rusty Camaro. The owner was in the window, peering out the side of the curtain. At least he was acknowledging my existence. I do know I’m real. I do know I’m here on this planet. I also realize I’m an alien. Aliens are all around you guys. Yes, you’ve seen us. But you ignore us. I get it. There’s too much to think about. You have too much going on. Who wants to actually face the facts that aliens not only exist but live next door? Fine. Be that way. But we could have a good time, you and I. We could be friends and hold hands and steal stuff together. There’s so much about us you could take with you. You could press the indigo button on our necks (some of us have them behind their ears) and you could just keep your finger there and feel yourself fill up with vitality. One thing we have noticed is your lack of overall vigor. Some of you act as if it doesn’t exist. Human-vigor has really gone down this past century. But you can get it back. All you gotta do is reach out and gently press your finger against the indigo button on my neck. You’ll find out so much, and you’ll be better for it. Please trust me. We can save you. If you let us.