No Curse Tower
103993, Otherworldly Avenue 3
Monthly Rent: $4,000
Bedrooms: 2
You’ve spent weeks trying to find a safe and cozy apartment that would cost you less than a fortune, haven’t you? Congratulations! One call and this one is yours. Please, call from 2:06 to 6:02 in the morning only. Our operator is busy shedding her skin the rest of the time.
5 reasons to rent this apartment:
- The apartment building official witch euthanized all the evil spirits. You might see Aamon from time to time but don’t be scared—he’s more like a dachshund.
- Dr. Liminoid fixed broken dimensions that have been disturbing people living on our avenue for years—they don’t adjust that in other places. This apartment won’t ever play games with you. However, it’s not recommended to look through the window at noon. The midday sun can still cause you to have giggling eye syndrome.
- Dr. Art Ificial removed a dark sense of humor from The National Smart Home system. Have you ever gotten mad because it kept creating threats your robot vacuum cleaner would suck your navel out? It won’t scratch your childhood fear anymore.
- Our talented officer S-laughter got rid of all the local serial killers—all 85 of them.
- The previous tenants ensured us they hadn’t left a trace of their generational curse. Do you remember that strange couple who had moved out from Transmigration Spire, condemning the next tenants to fatal familial insomnia? You’ll be sleeping like a baby!
CALL US: 66666666666666669