The roomba has locked itself in the bathroom and isn’t coming out.
Keeps banging from wall to bathtub to cabinet to shitter.
I keep waiting to hear vomiting, toilet flushing, toilet seat smashing back of head.
Waiting to hear snotty sobbing while the bath overflows with bubbles.
This is not at all a metaphor for my mood.
This is not an allegory for my inner demons trying to get out.
This is what’s happening right off my bedroom.
irl.
And in irl my ex-wife gifted me a roomba.
In fact in irl my ex-wife gifted me 2 roombas.
And in in irl she abandoned them when she abandoned me.
Her parting gift, 2 robot housekeepers to look after me.
Sometimes I like to watch them fight.
Sometimes I like to watch them make make-up love.
Last week, after 3 years, one of them died.
This week the other is in mourning.
Well Now WTF?