poured some red wine i bought
for the date who canceled.
signed up for a CrossFit class.
said out loud, “we all die alone.”
said out loud again, “we all die alone.”
put on “Slow Song” by The Knocks.
thought of taking selfies with my new DSLR.
laughed at how emo i was being.
sent a message to a girl on Hinge about
bidets…which does she recommend?
watched the guys play poker online.
poured some more wine.
thought of Shannon who stopped drinking
months ago.
thought of when i thought of quitting
because she said “i feel so much better now!
i sleep so well!”
i made it one day and i didn’t sleep that well.
listened to “Slow Song” again.
considered a cigarette.
considered the cardiologist who said
“i will chalk up the tobacco use to youthful
indiscretion.”
thought of when he said, “just quit as
much animal protein as you can” while
staring at the steak juices on the plate
on my bed.
checked the app and saw the girl told me
to check the reviews on the bidets before
i purchase.
said “i feel like bidet reviews will be
weird: ‘like a power washer for your asshole!
will never wipe again!’”
followed it up with “ignore me. i’ve had
half a bottle of wine.”
realized i was making a bad first impression
worse.
got a text with a photo of a guy who once
said i put on weight.
made fun of him for being bald and
scrawny.
poured more wine.
listened to “Slow Song” play again.
went looking for the cigarettes.
checked the app and found no response.
thought of making my own music video,
dancing around the dark neighborhood
to “Slow Song” by the Knocks.
Sandra Gramm