“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“On the path, squeaking. It’s got a torn wing.”
“I’ll need you to get the bat into a box. Put some gloves on first.”
“Can it make me sick?”
“It’s a very small risk. Nothing to worry about. Put the box on top of the bat and slide a bit of card underneath.”
“OK.”
“Put some water in the lid of a plastic milk bottle. Just a bit, not enough for the bat to drown in. Put the lid in the box with the bat.”
“OK.”
“Now I’ll give you the numbers of some volunteers who can help.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“I put it in a box. I think it’s a baby.”
“Does it have fur?”
“Yes.”
“That’s an adult. People are often surprised how small they are. Did you wear gloves?”
“No. Can it make me sick?”
“It’s a tiny risk. If it didn’t bite you, it’s OK.”
“I’ll give it some warm milk.”
“No, just water in the lid of a milk bottle. Not enough for the bat to drown in.”
“Won’t it need food?”
“It can go without for a while. Don’t worry. Now I’ll give you the numbers of some volunteers who can help.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“On my wall. You need to send someone out to take it away.”
“It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid. I’ll need you to get the bat into a box.”
“No.”
“There’s really nothing to worry about. Just put the box on top and slide a bit of card underneath.”
“I’ve got a baby. It might make her sick.”
“There’s practically no risk if you follow my advice.”
“OK, you’re not going to help. Bye.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“On the floor of the telephone exchange. It’s dead.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been there?”
“Don’t know. People almost never come here. It’s got long ears.”
“Is it brown?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a brown long-eared bat.”
“I’ll stop it happening again. I’ll tell them to take the wires away. Maybe put up a wall.”
“It’s kind of you to worry, but you risk disturbing a roost.”
“I want to help. I’ll do what I can.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“In a water glass. It didn’t have water in it, don’t worry.”
“Would you be able to move the bat into a box?”
“Yes, but I’ll need to be quiet. My husband was up all night screaming at me. He’s sick.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s OK. I just need to stop it happening again. The bat is in the box. What now?”
“I’ll give you the numbers of some volunteers who can help. With the bat.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“In a box, with some water in the lid of a milk bottle. We found the advice on your website. Kids! I said don’t touch it without gloves!”
“OK, well done. I’ll give you the numbers of some volunteers who can help.”
“It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Does it have long ears?”
“No, short ones. It’s only the size of my thumb.”
“People are often surprised how small they are. Does it have a dark face?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a common pipistrelle.”
“Hi, I found a bat.”
“Thanks for calling. Where is the bat now?”
“Don’t know. It was flying over the water in the dark.”
“That’s a Daubenton’s bat. It was hunting for food.”
“Where did it go at the end of the night?”
“Into its roost, where it lives, in a building or under a bridge. It’s normal. Nothing to worry about.”
“I know. I just wanted to tell someone. I was surprised.”
“People often are.”
-END-