choose your own
1 gummed palms white knuckle
2 a gristly rope
3 if you choose to be a barefoot grandchild at the lake, skip to line 23
4 if you sweat it out, trying to play it cool with your older cousins
5 mocking you from below, continue to line 10
6 burrowing doubts worming into
7 fava-beaned gray matter
8 if you lose the coin toss with yourself and swallow the rest of the
9 tequila anyhow, skip ahead to line 17
10 how this human tastes like chicken
11 heartbeat womBAT-womBAT-womBATting at the jugulars
12 if you fashion a noose and test its tensile strength on a ceiling pipe or
13 closet rod, proceed to the next line
14 collapsing throat toothpaste-tube squeezing out
15 hoarse, hollow raspings
16 if you waver for years in and out of the closet, skip to line 20
17 sticky sweat drenchings congealed to skin
18 saliva curdling the intestines
19 if you dither in and out of denial go back and forth from the beginning
20 till pupils dilate and the sinew of the soul solidifies –
21 when focus dominoes body to action
22 and
23 swift motion arcs new orbits discovers new limits the
24 rope snaps tight
25 you let go
26 you fly
27 bothsinkandswimming
28 plucking belly oysters for pearls
Carrie Nassif is a writer, photographer, and psychologist living in the rural Midwest. She has been published in several anthologies including a national winner and finalist in Off Channel, the 2014 Austin International Poetry Festival, and “Cry of the Nightbird”, a 2015 finalist for the Next Generation Indie Book Award and for the National Indie Excellence Award in the woman’s issues category. Her poetry (and often, photography) can be found in Pomona Valley Review, typoetic and WORDPEACE as well as her blog at monstersofourowndestiny.wordpress.com
Cover photo: Joel Ormsby (https://www.flickr.com/photos/joelshine2)