A cold, lonely planet

 

you are accelerating at a rate of leaving behind everything you ever cared about

 

you are hoping to achieve a terminal velocity

 

and then smash into something resembling a fierce, sad comet

 

and then the pieces of your heart will scatter

 

like tiny bits of ash or something

 

and you will spiral toward a cold, lonely planet

 

and if you are somehow still alive

 

you will hope that there is a creature resembling a wampa or a sasquatch

 

or even a giant plant that licks the faces off warm blooded organisms

 

and you hope it will find you in the dark and the snow

 

and end your life

 

but in reality

 

if the planet is not empty

 

the creature might be so lonely that it welcomes you

 

and it builds an igloo

 

and you stay there for a while

 

and then you feel ok for a period of time

 

and you get to know the creature

 

and you even feel empathy

 

then after six months or a year

 

you feel sick of being stuck on a cold, lonely planet

 

living in an igloo with a depressed sasquatch

 

and now you regret having crash landed

 

because this planet is devoid of interstellar technology

 

and it would take at least a few thousand years for its development

 

and now the stars are coming out

 

and you are standing on a giant frozen world

 

and you see something resembling the milky way

 

and you wish you were somewhere else maybe even home

 

 

considering philosophy at 2pm on thursday because i don’t have a real job

 

 

i am thinking about when i used to read nietzsche

 

i feel destroyed by will to power

 

everything is happening over again

 

i am watching tv again

 

i feel stronger emotional connections to tv characters than to people in my life

 

schopenhauer would go out of his way to annihilate kittens and most humans

 

because existence is suffering and the kindest gesture is to relieve someone of suffering

 

schopenhauer would murder an entire town of elderly people just to promote his philosophy

 

if everything is nothing then nothing is happening all the time so why do i feel so shitty doing nothing or anything really

 

later i was walking around staring at trees trying to feel pensive

 

i pissed in the same river twice

 

at the end of life you probably get to see everything shitty that you didn’t realize you did

 

everything is happening over again

 

every world religion and worldview in general accepts the fact that the world is terrible and full of suffering they all just prescribe different methods for ignoring the fact that the world is terrible and full of suffering so basically they are techniques for not thinking about the world

 

most happy people don’t read philosophy

 

to figure out what is happening outside i watch tv

 

there are leaves falling in front of my window