Every night death rebuilds our city in its image
paper airplanes lusting after the wind
carried like tabloids or crystals from crib to crib
friends falling asleep in hot tub tombs in backyards of old money
wealth isn’t the things you leave behind
but it’s not really the things you spray paint on memory either
broken windows dancing with the grass
roofs made from blood clots so lightning doesn’t strike the heart
a gazebo made from used tooth picks, scraps of love and teeth that rot
wedding vows exchanged in endangered languages, then there’s silence
the rest of us who can’t sleep buy hot pockets from 24-hour bodegas
we stab them with keys to apartments we don’t rent anymore
caves we shared with lovers or clones
passing around Netflix passwords like the plague
learning how to make a murderer or how iron fists don’t bruise
arguing about crumbs under couch cushions
or how working multiple jobs is bulldozing the playgrounds in our eyes
potted plants angry at dirt, fingertips sick of finding bloom where bones weep
where the guardian angels of our youth still scoop up halos and try to hang them over our heads
but we’re still full of shit and our gravity’s too strong for halos that hang
there was that time we threw a surprise birthday party for our one friend
he was so scared of death
months leading up to the big day, we listened to the police radio
figured out where murder was materializing or where cars twisted their horns
then we snuck through the night causing distractions
then we stole all the crime tape
then we decorated our shitty apartment in all that yellow
so when he walked in and we all said surprise
he burst into tears and the tears looked like strange bugs
the bugs sang beautiful songs though and we danced in the fiery blanket of a million iPhones
our friend ate Doritos that whole night
he really liked Doritos
he died shortly after his birthday and we all blamed ourselves for killing him
we miss the gold sunrise of his fingers and lips
since he was always eating Doritos
we would pretend he was always reaching into the stomachs of suns and pulling out their guts
licking all that star death separated him from the rest, made him saintly
we were just jealous, now look at us
we pray to him in silence when stabbing the shit out of hot pockets
the fat sauce oozing out of the icy crust and we all start to cry
oh envious city, oh half a sleepless city, we huddle around a Doritos campfire
pretending the glow of the chips keeps us warm and safe
after all, darkness is just a cat scratching shadows into a tree
after all, we are the gold dust from parties built on debris
after all, we ‘re still breathing while pretending to be free