These are the big questions I get asked as a high school English teacher.

What a loaded question

and you know all the students are going to over analyze the response.

I suppose I could say Principal Skinner

because he has a passion for education,

but then the students will wanna know if I still live with my mommy.

Krusty the Clown would be a stellar choice

because he makes people laugh and has his own show.

I’m not sure I have the comedic chops

to follow that answer all year though.

I could always pick Bart.

He’s a lovable prankster

and reps Butterfingers, so that’s cool.

Really though, do I want my classroom turning into a prank-off every day,

skateboards, spray paint and slingshots

strewn across chairs and tables?

I’ve decided which character I’m going to be

and just in time because they want an answer.

I’ll be Homer

because they already think I’m a drunk because I’m Irish

and maybe they’ll bring me

some donuts…mmmmmm donuts.

See, I’ve already got the hang of it!