It is 2PM and I am on my couch.

I hate my brown holey couch. I haven’t been out

of my house for three weeks.  I am searching


online trying to find Lysol spray and Clorox wipes

and Bounty towels and toilet bowl cleaner and Purell–

My own little Easter egg hunt.


But there is nothing in my basket now

because everything is unavailable and undeliverable

and out of stock and we don’t know if it is ever coming back.


I am not watching the news again today.  But I have binged

on Naked and Afraid and Survivor because I am a sucker for Reality

TV. And Making the Cut has a new episode and I love


Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum. They are in Paris and they are smiling

and the fashion show is in front of the Eiffel Tower

and I was in Paris and I crack a smile too as I look at the audience


gathered to watch. Now the contestants hug each other

because Martha got eliminated. Crying because she ran out of time

and her design just wasn’t up to snuff. But Jonny’s dress


is available to purchase immediately on Amazon–

but that is out of stock too. And I am in my living room

as a red-tailed hawk flies by my curtain-less sliding door with a squirrel


in tow, as I wonder if it is safe for my poodle to go outside, as I discover

Netflix has a new episode of Tiger King premiering on Sunday,

as I think about how lucky I am to have found a spiral ham.