It is 2PM and I am on my couch.
I hate my brown holey couch. I haven’t been out
of my house for three weeks. I am searching
online trying to find Lysol spray and Clorox wipes
and Bounty towels and toilet bowl cleaner and Purell–
My own little Easter egg hunt.
But there is nothing in my basket now
because everything is unavailable and undeliverable
and out of stock and we don’t know if it is ever coming back.
I am not watching the news again today. But I have binged
on Naked and Afraid and Survivor because I am a sucker for Reality
TV. And Making the Cut has a new episode and I love
Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum. They are in Paris and they are smiling
and the fashion show is in front of the Eiffel Tower
and I was in Paris and I crack a smile too as I look at the audience
gathered to watch. Now the contestants hug each other
because Martha got eliminated. Crying because she ran out of time
and her design just wasn’t up to snuff. But Jonny’s dress
is available to purchase immediately on Amazon–
but that is out of stock too. And I am in my living room
as a red-tailed hawk flies by my curtain-less sliding door with a squirrel
in tow, as I wonder if it is safe for my poodle to go outside, as I discover
Netflix has a new episode of Tiger King premiering on Sunday,
as I think about how lucky I am to have found a spiral ham.