These are the big questions I get asked as a high school English teacher.
What a loaded question
and you know all the students are going to over analyze the response.
I suppose I could say Principal Skinner
because he has a passion for education,
but then the students will wanna know if I still live with my mommy.
Krusty the Clown would be a stellar choice
because he makes people laugh and has his own show.
I’m not sure I have the comedic chops
to follow that answer all year though.
I could always pick Bart.
He’s a lovable prankster
and reps Butterfingers, so that’s cool.
Really though, do I want my classroom turning into a prank-off every day,
skateboards, spray paint and slingshots
strewn across chairs and tables?
I’ve decided which character I’m going to be
and just in time because they want an answer.
I’ll be Homer
because they already think I’m a drunk because I’m Irish
and maybe they’ll bring me
some donuts…mmmmmm donuts.
See, I’ve already got the hang of it!