failing the effort of feeling 
          the very idea of comfort discomforting 
          to one become so undeserving of comfort at all
the very notion of relief very much a mere notion
the notion one ought to get up maybe and go for a walk
         walked back until it’s hardly a notion at all

thoughts of oblivion are difficult to avoid
         oblivion a thought difficult to define
         a lack of thought death’s very definition 
                   a thought lacking to such an extent  
                   a lack is all that defines such a thought
                                     how is one to define the lack of lacking at all

maybe the meds aren’t working
          not today the meds aren’t working 
what’s working really is that which isn’t working really
         working against all that one’s been working for 
          even if one has to work at it almost forever 
                   forever remember isn’t something one can work at at all