failing the effort of feeling
the very idea of comfort discomforting
to one become so undeserving of comfort at all
the very notion of relief very much a mere notion
the notion one ought to get up maybe and go for a walk
walked back until it’s hardly a notion at all
thoughts of oblivion are difficult to avoid
oblivion a thought difficult to define
a lack of thought death’s very definition
a thought lacking to such an extent
a lack is all that defines such a thought
how is one to define the lack of lacking at all
maybe the meds aren’t working
not today the meds aren’t working
what’s working really is that which isn’t working really
working against all that one’s been working for
even if one has to work at it almost forever
forever remember isn’t something one can work at at all