It would like nothing more than to shed, pirouette and moonwalk away to its own music, leaving me behind like a deflated pool dragon.
My skeleton’s drumbeat ...
Frank deep-fat cremates him and scatters his ashes along with fries in the park.
McNugget Buddies forever, Dipstick Kid and Layabout Louis pay their respects...
I’m holding crystal light water enhancers because I know you love them and I figure you’re dehydrated. I need help. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. My tw...
I know many people believe they are, but I actually am, a genius, and its hard to describe the pain I feel from not having that recognized. In my Script Writing...
Once upon a time there was a dog named Hunter. He had a disease on his nose. Nobody really cared. He was in a band called The Bloody Videos. They played every o...
My tick repellant stopped working so now I’m covered in ticks.
I tried going to the store for more tick repellant but I didn’t make it.
Going to the store...
We are proud of our tree-lined streets. They provide us with shade. We stand in the shade to avoid the sun. The sun gives us life but too much will kill us. Eve...
Another year around the sun1. Wow2. This past year saw a lot of ups and downs3. I learned to accept my flaws4 and love myself in spite of them5. I also learned ...
“Mom just texted me,” said Katina.
“Yes?” I said, hearing my wife flush the toilet upstairs.
“Daniel isn’t starting on his Little League team, so she’s co...
Jason wished he’d consulted Google Maps before setting out on his journey to the end of the world, with the sun in his wheelbarrow. The deal was that he had to ...
Find out what’s really down there. I’m suspicious. Don’t trust anything where people are like don’t eat that, it’s gonna be lava. I don’t think lava is a thing....
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in this suit, this overcoat of what you see, this visage of who you think I am. It slips sometimes and snags on things,...
In my Barbie dreams, the doors open for me right away, the hands of dozens of Kens balancing the heavy metal and glass on their pinky fingers. The other fingers...
A note on the desk said: How does that make you feel?
Terrible!
I ran!
The reception area was a giant billboard. It read: We'll bill your card on file. The...
You, kid who we pelted with six dozen eggs, may hate the memory of two carloads of punks egging you on Halloween night in 1996, but understand we had no choice....
There are many Petersburgs, each of them black and tasting of stone. The city sprawls in a tangled nervous system, twisted districts and zones crisscrossed by c...
The humidity of summer vacation filled our lungs like water balloons, so my friends and I decided to cool off with a flick, Cowboys & Aliens. When the credi...
Marcus locked the bathroom door—or tried to. It was an old and wobbly lock that failed to properly catch, which was really, really not helping since he definite...
I found a decent looking hole in the wall restaurant near the wide and beautiful Xiang River that bisects the city. I had just reconnected with long-lost cousin...
When a pair of ski-masked men walk into the country hospital, guns drawn and saying Do what we say and you won’t get hurt, nobody knows how to react at first. P...
We’re writing ghost stories together. It’s autofiction. We’re BFFs. Mostly started as YESNOGOODBYE but now she calls me bitch and we laugh until I weep into my ...
I don’t think it really hit home that I was moving out for good until the man came to fix my doorbell. This guy was a magician; he was on some real David Blaine...
“Hi, Glenda! I’m David. It’s so lovely to meet in person. It’s weird to only communicate over texting, right? I don’t feel like I know someone until I...
I can help. I’ve made nine thousand, just in America today, Marcus.
I know you’ve been shopping together for a decade. The wedding was overdue, based on how ...
A cloud went to a party. The cloud didn’t know anyone, so it just hovered awkwardly and nibbled puff pastries in the living room. A guy came up and introduced h...
What did it do to deserve this? There’s no explanation. Just the star itself, unadorned, accusatory, the sole record of any visitor’s presence. Did the reviewer...
First, you must have tried other food and been unfulfilled. If you’re looking to move quickly, an unseasoned casserole will do, or slightly burnt toast, in a pi...
I drive to Riverside City College to give Dr. Lamoreaux my Life Drawing I portfolio. I imagine her sitting in her office, the citron light shining on her face j...