it’s like being in a box

sealed on the outside.

 

 

but more than a box.

                                                                        I carved infinity into the walls

 

 

so I can stay here

                                                                        I call it a “passive prison.”

 

 

and do happy cartwheels—

                                                                        the room is only a three by eight.

 

 

it’s safety in loneliness

                                                                        but it’s still a box.

 

 

 

more than a box.

 

 

it’s a quiet memory on repeat—

 loud.

 

 

it’s something that can be spoken to

                                                                        alone.

 

 

and it understands.

but can it feel?

 

 

like an object that only exists in thought—

no that’s not right.

 

 

well sure it is.

 

 

but it’s exclusive to me.

like a keepsake.

 

 

no.

like melatonin.

 

 

true I am blind.

monochrome

 

 

checkered floors.

a game.

 

 

taking a loss

like a virus

 

 

and its host

that kills

 

 

organisms.

function.

 

 

stuck on the absence of—