i find the world to be mostly tolerant of me
which is boring to me

it shouldn’t be, i guess
it should be preferable

but no,
i don’t really like niceness

i find it boring
i’d enjoy a little edge in the people around me.

i sense a fear, all the time
in others
and maybe i have it to.
it’s the reason i feel weird eating in class or getting up to go to the bathroom.
the reason i never ask to use the bathroom in my students houses.
and i don’t it like
it feels external, this fear.
like something floating around all of us. independent of us.
choosy of who it picks on most, sure
but still it’s own thing; it affects us all in very much the same way.