is this an appropriate
time to go full panic
attack mode
or is it not the vibe

i’m looking out
the window like I
always do
Ethel Cain was our Florida governor before we knew

spear fishers don’t get pussy
that’s just a fact

I was banished to the desk
on the other side of the room
by teachers with huge dump
trucks
they’d want to shut me up

stomach as endless pit for
iced coffee
four females on the train tracks
taking grainy IG pics
asking each other to hold their
iced coffees
iced coffees perspire when they live in swamp ass

cigarettes are acoustic not electronic
like vapes

I live where you vacation

pub subs and not shitting them out for three days

homophobic chicken sandwich with waffle fries

bikini pics on the beach
public drinking on the beach
kissing your best friend on the beach
pretending you’re not that into her on the beach

car as pretend portal to somewhere
actually bearable
pass me the aux I’ll play something
unbearable

it’s implying growing up sheltered
private school policies
policing post puberty
body
possibilities under plaid skort
to be
reminded of

opened legs at altar
grown men liked to watch us rock the fuck out
at megachurch
service

if you go beast mode during chapel you get brownie points
if you are caught mis-representing the school on the weekends you get expelled

it’s a beautiful day to open up snapchat
let’s get lit
at the
darty
send
me
the
addy
it’s
a
lowkey
party

banished to a version of conversion
therapy and
dunked in the ocean by a twenty-one
year old pastor
for forgiveness

he’ll watch your white t-shirt cling to you after and think
that’s fire

born again and wearing jeggings
you’re in the backseat
wet and frowning