san francisco start-up utilizes whale shark mail service to improve american economy tenfold.
hatsune miku endorses anime waifu chatgpt wrapper for prime minister of japan.
mlg sid the science kid 360-noscopes beta cuck teacher and wins class doritos party.
apparently the only way to ensure the existence of anything is to have sex with it.
wait is my laptop charger at david’s house?
why did i decide to major in metaphysico-literario-cosmologinology?
you wanna hit this bong, brother?
if half the working class were hired to kill the other half, how many people would do it?
a porky dork in a forklift over-torqued into the cork liquors on 4th st.
a barn owl thats probably symbolic orbits around the cork liquors on 4th st.
the cork liquors had its liquor license revoked for pouring shots for 14-year-olds.
jk lol none of that actually happened.
if you aren’t writing your instagram captions in iambic hexameter, wtf are you doing?
why do i keep getting advertisements for medically assisted suicide in the mail?
could the whale sharks be conspiring something?
will she ever forgive me for when i called her a pebble instead of a rock?
i’d flirt with you but i’m in a long-distance low-commitment monogamous situationship.
that’s a real text someone sent me.
cyber whale sharks definitely have my name on a watchlist.
fuck i need to buy a new laptop charger that shit wasn’t at david’s house.
hahaha… does anyone else feel like america is falling apart?
how long will it take to do all my homework?
how long will it take for her to ever forget that we were in love?
how long until the next trolley for the lgbtqia+ friendly fallout shelter?
people get shot in politics and that’s not something anyone will ever truly fix.
i wield words and still couldn’t say the right ones.
lowkey i regret writing this poem in quatrains.
the grand whatever that we call god isn’t a metaphor for nature; he’s that feeling,
that moment when my mom calls to ask how long i think a whale shark lives,
and i think aloud, “idk mom, i’ve never met a whale shark.”